Ready for more portion-controlled goodness in this week’s Quick Hits & Snack Bits? Read on to find out who will be directing Monster Squad and The Tourist; casting news for Bruce Willis, Channing Tatum, and Gerard Butler; new projects for Billy Ray and Cary Fukunaga; updates on Ghost in the Shell; a helluva early-developing rumor involving Leonardo DiCaprio, plus a whole bunch more!

First up is Monster Squad, the long-in-gestation supernatural comedy that is NOT a remake of the much beloved 1987 film from Fred Dekker and Shane Black. This one’s brand new, and if you’re wondering what it’s about, so are we. Brian Lynch first wrote the spec about an international coalition of kids who battle monsters under the bed (then titled Nightcrawlers), but Michael Arndt later retooled it to feature a neurotic father who had to face childhood demons. Brian Copeland has written the latest draft, but the new logline is being kept under wraps. One thing we do know is that Shrek Forever After director Mike Mitchell has been tapped as the new director. [via Variety]

The Tourist, which just lost a Charlize Theron but gained an Angelina Jolie, is close to locking in a new director — The Lives of Others helmer Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck. [via Variety]

Jim Sturgess has joined Kirsten Dunst in Juan Diego Solanas’ sci fi flick Upside Down, set in an alternate reality where two worlds — one hovering upside down above the other — coexist, one floating and affluent and the other grounded and much more humble. Sturgess will play a man whose childhood flirtation with a girl from the floating world blooms into an impossible love, but a chance sighting of her on TV years later propels him to search her out. Transfilm has a very cool but very small teaser poster for it, which you can see below.

[Various Sources via /film]

Dito Montiel has landed a stellar cast for his next film, Son of No One, a dramatic thriller about a young cop whose life and family is threatened by old secrets when he is assigned to a precinct in the neighborhood he grew up in. Constant collaborator Channing Tatum will star, along with Terrence Howard, James Gandolfini, and Robert De Nito. [via Production Weekly's Twitter]

Adam Shankman (Hairspray) will tackle 80’s glam rock anthems in a big screen adaptation of Broadway musical Rock of Ages, about two youngsters who meet in a fictional Sunset Strip club (not to be confused with an actual strip club) and the hijinks that ensue as they combat the “clean living”-supporting establishment, pursue their dreams, and fall in love. Don’t stop believin’! [via Variety]

Vanessa Redgrave, David Strathairn, and Monica Bellucci are joining Rachel Weisz in the indie political drama The Whistleblower. [via Variety]

Sin Nombre director Cary Fukunaga has lined up his next project — an adaptation of Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre. Ellen Page was attached to star some time ago, but has since left the project. [via Variety]

After months of rumors and speculation, producer Adrian Askarieh finally confirmed to GameDaily that Bruce Willis has been cast as Kane in a big screen adaptation of video game Kane & Lynch. [via /film]

Dylan Baker, aka Dr. Curt Connors, will be appearing Spider-Man 4, although apparently not as The Lizard…yet. Shame. [via UGO]

Gerard Butler will be playing Tullus Aufidius, nemesis to the titular hubris-infused antihero, in Ralph Fiennes’ adaptation of Shakespeare’s Coriolanus. In addition to directing, Fiennes will also play Coriolanus. [via AICN]

Ready for a big fat Mad Max…well, whatever you call something that’s slightly more reliable than a rumor? E! Online is reporting that George Miller is looking at Charlize Theron and Bronson’s Tom Hardy to star in his reboot of the franchise he launched with Mel Gibson. I’m a fan of both of these actors; let’s hope this pans out. [via AICN]

Breach writer-director Billy Ray has been tapped to bring the Somali pirate story that made headlines earlier this year to the big screen. The film will focus on captain Richard Phillips, who was held hostage by four Somali pirates before being rescued by a group of Navy SEALs. [via Variety]

Anne Hathaway, Neil Patrick Harris, and Rodrigo Santoro have joined the voice cast of Rio, Carlos Saldanha (Ice Age 3)’s animated feature about a nerdy macaw who leaves his small-town Minnesota cage for the exotic lands of Rio de Janeiro. [via THR]

The big screen adaptation of the iconic manga/anime property Ghost in the Shell is inching closer to reality. Envisioned as a live action 3D flick, the film has found a scribe in Shutter Island writer Laeta Kalogridis. [via Variety]

Neill Blomkamp’s next project, an untitled sci fi flick, has found financing via Media Rights Capital! And they’re giving him full creative control! Huzzah! [via Variety]

Annnnnd we’ll close this week’s QH&SB with a whopper of an early-developing rumor. CHUD reports that Leonardo DiCaprio and BFF Tobey Maguire may star in a Steven Knight (Eastern Promises) penned remake of Carol Reed’s classic, The Third Man. We’ll definitely be monitoring this one as it develops. [via CHUD]

MTV Movies Blog has the poster for the previously-titled The Post Grad Survival Guide, which you can find below. The story follows a recent college graduate, played by the effervescent Alexis Bledel, who moves back home to figure out her next step in life. Carol Burnett, Jane Lynch, Friday Night Lights‘ Zach Gilford (Matty Saracen!), Rodrigo Santoro, and Michael Keaton (Batman!) co-star. And, according to IMDb, Demetri Martin will play some sort of (non sequitus?) Ad Exec. Oh, and Bobby Colemon, the cute kid from Martian Child, is in it too. If, you know, anyone was interested.

Post Grad hits theaters August 14th.